Microchipping, a How-To

A couple of years before I was a super sexy conspiracy debunker I wrote a tongue-in-cheek plan from the point of view of the New World Order/Illuminati on how we were going to implement microchips and track everyone on the planet. I was helping a friend of mine with a project paper he was completing for his class, and I thought it would be funny to take the same requirements and layout for his paper and turn it into something evil/funny to show my computer nerd friends.

This article was originally written sometime in 2005. I tried to realistically put figures into practice, I guess you could call it "hard science fiction," but I didn't do any major research when writing it; it was something I did in a single sitting and the quality reflects that.

I also hope this paper puts some perspective on the microchip theories and how realistic it could be to track everyone. This is especially true in the latter parts of the essay where I talk about the resources that would be needed,... and the tens of thousands of experts and general laborers it would take to be involved.

It goes to show that only someone who knows absolutely nothing about technology could believe something so incredibly stupid.

Enjoy!

Project Definition

The project here is a set of software, hardware, and wetware sub-projects that will be organized in such a manner is to provide the ability for us to control others by means of a microchip. This microchip will help us track every human being on the planet, control where he or she can go, what they can buy and sell, and so forth.

Considering we are the evil men behind the curtain, money is really no object, but a reasonable constraint should be setup so spending does not get out of control, after all we are not the USSR. Various teams will be setup to tackle the different problems at hand, however this could make our secret plan get out, but somehow since we control the world, we will be able to hide it all. We should look to a timeline of five years to implement this plan on a North American scale.

Project Executive Summary

The goals of this project are to enslave all mankind with a microchip along the lines described by conspiracy theorists, something that many would say is happening right now. In all this microchip will help us control where people can go, what they can do, and what they can buy and sell. We have to make some assumptions about the acceptance of inserting a microchip into people, so first we must make people use a National ID, which is not much different than a driver's license, but somehow that gives us more control.

The risks, of course, are having the conspiracy theorists expose our diabolical scheme, but seeing how they have been talking about our plan since the 1960s and most people do not believe them, it seems unlikely. We must approach this project in several phases, the first will just be a National ID with buying and selling as our main control, then later a microchip insert into a person somewhere on their body, that will do the same, but we can control where they can go, what they can do, and so forth.

The organization for project development is a massive cover-up and conspiracy involving literally thousands of experts and specialists in areas such as information technology, telecommunications, hardware, software, and many other areas, but none of them will come forward, because we are just that good.

The project scope is a National ID system linked into a purchasing system, microchip development, which be linked into the previous system mentioned. Then finally a series of satellites, antenna, and so forth that will help us control where people can go and what they can do based on the chip that is within them.

Obviously the cost and undertaking of such a project will be astronomical, but we are the true controllers of the world, the men behind the curtain if you will. We should, however, place some constraints on the total cost, in order to keep the whole thing under some control.

We should set a time line for around 5 years to get the project done, at least to the point where the next step is the microchip implantation. Of course, we have been trying to do this since the 1960s, yet somehow we never have managed to accomplish it, but fear not, we will get it done this time.

Project Overview

Considering my project idea is based on some psychotic proposal by conspiracy theorists that the government, Illuminati, or whoever wants to control them, there is little rationale or business justification. So, in the spirit of the conspiracy theorists, I will say that it is to control people and make them more willing to buy products. I will refer to the controllers as "we", so it is much easier whatever the controlling originates from.

For the control aspect of the project, the purpose is in several parts. The first part is all about finding out who we can trust. If someone rejects the microchips we implant in him or her, we can then mark them as someone who may be a danger to our diabolical plan. This information will go in our central database of all human action, which will be explained later in the project details. In the mean time we can mark them as "untrustworthy" by their National ID cards, which are evil for some reason. At a later date, we can secretly insert a chip into them via blood donation or something similar, because that is what conspiracy theorists claim we do, so let's take them up on it.

Second is logging all information for control. It does not make much sense at first glance, but trust me, there is always a secret plan. This information could be used on a secret date, for secret interrogations, or for our entertainment to see the strange places some people go, the ones that leave their house anyway.

Third, logging all the information in realistic terms, we can use it to control what people buy and sell, and I guess convince them it is a good by recommending other products to them based on what they have already bought. We can also "protect" people by restricting what they can buy based on their health history. For mental health, we can restrict them from buying things that might be harmful to others, if there is a history of mental problems.

Fourthly and perhaps most importantly, if someone acts up, we can turn off their chip and then he or she will not be a happy camper. Seeing how now they will not be able to buy or sell anything, under threat of this, people will comply to our evil laws.

Goals and Objectives

Laying fiber optics is the first and foremost important thing. If we do not have a solid telecommunications infrastructure, we cannot possibly implement much more of our plan. We should find the cheapest way to lay fiber optics and also find a way to lay them without anyone noticing.

Launching satellites is also important, but is much more complex. We must first research the cost and benefits of satellites. If we plan on constructing and using many of them we must figure our how to link them with the system. Lastly, we much launch them without anyone noticing, or develop a cover-up of some sort.

We are going to have servers everywhere. These are computers that will store, relay, and control all of the information relating to our overall plan. Many servers can be made out of older computers, using the Google philosophy of "large and cheap", we could easily make the system redundant and have the ability to expand and contract easily.

The National ID card is the best way to initially get people in the system. Even though they are database by social security cards, driver's licenses, draft registrations, voting registrations, and so forth. Conspiracy theorists seem to know best when they say this is how solidify our control for the next step.

Microchips should be used, for some reason, to control people after National ID cards are slowly made obsolete. We must research into RFID chips that work more than 10cm away from the target. We must also find a way to convince people to insert them into their bodies. Then we must figure out how to database everywhere they go.

Project Deliverables

Designing software

• Software plan having a blue print as to what software is needed and plans on how to obtain and create it
• Software implementation - following blueprints and undertaking the largest enterprise projects in history

Designing hardware

• Designing hardware system that will seamlessly interlink all of the project goals
• The hardware system must be designed at the same time as the software system, perhaps only one step ahead
• It has a large implementation which covers fiber optics, satellites, scanners, microchips, and probably moon bases, it could get crazy.

Deliverables Out of Scope

First is feeding all the employees - we don't need people taking lunch breaks without being debriefed on the biggest secret ever. We should also do side research projects into the probability of rebellion against the microchips and how to handle such rebellion.

Project Estimated Costs & Duration

Mile Stone	ETA	Deliverables	Confidence
Fiber optics	12/1/2008	Replacing most copper communications with fiber. Using existing fiber systems for our massive undertaking without upsetting businesses	Medium
Satellites	1/1/2010	Satellite Research and launching of satellites.	High
Servers	1/1/2010	Server software. Server linking research. Server implementation all over the planet	Medium
National ID	1/1/2010	Force all citizens to have National IDs	High
Microchip	1/1/2015	Research better RFID chips. Convince people of their use. Make people use them.	Medium/Low

Project Assumptions

There are several assumptions that must be made about this project. First and foremost it will be difficult to convince people that this is a good system. It will be very expensive, and lastly it will cost billions in research and development.

Project Risks

Rebellion is a risk that is very high. A preemptive propaganda storm to get the young and old to get chips implanted first, for their protection. This will make the minority those from 20-50, and we can find other reasons to get them to do it without knowledge of our evil plans.

Economic collapse is also a high risk. Because of the high costs of this project, an economic collapse would probably occur, especially in countries that cannot spend debt easily, such as Russia or other parts of Eastern Europe, Africa, and Asia. Essentially we would have to save up and lay the basis for our evil plan for many years.

If our secret gets out we stand a high risk of failing. This has already started to happen: geniuses such as Alex Jones have somehow figured out our evil plan and are telling people on their radio shows and DVDs. Luckily for us, they  doesn't have any real proof, so most people don't believe them. We must make them look as crazy as possible, maybe keep them busy with other conspiracies.

Traffic collision is a medium risk, but a risk none-the-less. With every action of every person being logged, databases would be bogged down. For example with 50 database servers MySpace can barely function and is at maximum capacity. So, that means having over 2,000% the amount of people involved, we could easily run in to much larger problems. We must expand constantly and always; maybe commandeer data centers.

Then there is always the risk of black markets. If we have learned anything from massive economic control, it's that black markets will emerge to provide citizens with things that we cannot provide - for example, blue jeans or illegal music. This is inevitable, and as of yet, there is no real known way to stop black markets.

Project Constraints

Cost: the cost of such a project is beyond conceivable, essentially the only idea would be debt spending and raising taxes, but that probably won't work in the long term, as it would cause a recession, due to the fact people would have less money.

Time: is it possible to complete this in 5 years? Well, conspiracy theorists think so, ever since the mid-1960s, their projection has always been within the next 5 years. As of now 2010-2012 is the start date of the massive control of everyone - at least according conspiracy theorists.

Scope: loss of project scope would be simple, so it's important that we plan everything to the last detail, especially to keep our employees in the dark, otherwise it might get out what we are really up to.

Project Structure Approach

Project structure is really several fold. That is there must be separate teams working on different aspects at the same time. For example one team lays the foundation for the microchip implants, another for actually tracking others and logging it, and another for laying the communications foundation: fiber optics, satellites, and so forth.

Outside resources are nearly everything, as we are just the "Man Behind the Curtain", so we must use the Air Force's rockets to get our satellites in outer space, we must use fiber optics created by third party companies, and the microchips themselves are all manufactured by the same company - even we cannot seem to avoid patent laws.

Therefore it is necessary that we mask what we are really doing under guise other things. For example, the dot-com boom also lead to a telecommunications boom, and thus a lot of fiber optic cable was laid to cope with expansion. Or was it?! Actually that was us working behind the curtain, yet again, and it was another part of our plan. Things like these will be necessary for our project. There will be economic problems in the future, but rest assured, they're all engineered by us for some purpose.

Project Team Organization Plans

H. D. Rockefeller, and other employees will fund and organize the communications aspect of the project. They will lay the foundation to the whole system, fiber optic cables, and the entire communications infrastructure so that our software can easily log every move of every person on the planet.

J. P. Morgan IV, Air force, and thousands of others will research, construct, and launch the satellites that will help with tracking and communication.

William Gates III and other Microsoft employees will help construct, organize, and scale our database software. Highly scalable software is required, and we have a lot of money to do it, so why not get the founder of Microsoft to do it for us?

George W Bush, US Congress will pass the National ID act. Conspiracy theorists say May 2008 is when we are supposed to launch the National ID card system, but since they knew our secret plan, we will to put it off even more -- sure it's almost exactly like a license, but somehow this will make people more willing to take the microchip.

Kevin Warwick, and his students will accomplish our Microchip plans. As an early pioneer of RFID chips, it is important that Warwick find new ways of getting people to inject them, maybe even making an even smaller one to inject into people when they get vaccinations or give blood.

Communication Plan

Communicating with stakeholders on the issue of changing something with the project will be both are difficult and easy. As the stakeholders tend to be Freemasons or whatever and are thus old, most tend to not know about the technology going into this massive project. One of the issues that will have come up during planning of this project is what is known as the "Year 2038 problem".

Unlike the Y2K problem, this is a real one that can be easily shown on any computer with a few lines of computer code. 32bit systems (which most in the world are) do not have the capacity to handle time after about November 2038 and will as a result turn those numbers into negative numbers. Therefore we must communicate that, unless the future rulers of the world, want some kind of downtime, we must prepare for our systems to be in use even 30 years from now, because we do not know what circumstances will arise.

Potential Exceptions and Problems

In reality the only exception to this problem is if we change how dates work or perhaps go back in time. Because we won't, my team and I believe it imperative that 64bit architectures be used in this project to remove any chance of future problems. Not only will RAM and speed from day one limit our systems, but also the year 2038 poses a problem, as again there is not enough address space for the date/time. This will impact the development team most of all, which will have to write their software for 64bit instead of 32bit. Not unlike the changes made during the early 1990s with the 16bit to 32bit change.

Appropriate Corrective Measures

Since we have not began purchasing and creating our servers, the change will only cost slightly more than it would have originally, and we would be limited to using nearly all new equipment instead of older computers. We may also need to rethink how we plan on scaling our servers, that is, instead of adding more and more servers, make up for cost by giving the servers we have more memory, since now they can take beyond the 4GB limit imposed on 32bit machines.

Change Management Process Steps

As stated before the process has not yet begun so the overall plan can be changed. However, since this change primarily exists with the architecture of the servers and minor software differences, there should not be that many steps in changing or managing these changes. We should thoroughly document and train our software engineers on how to properly use 64bit integers and architectures.

Change Control Board (CCB)

I believe the change control board should be made up of mostly high experienced programmers, engineers, and a few mathematicians (we may have algorithms used in the computer code that may be hard to understand or implement.)

Development and Implementation

The development process is highly complex and requires countless teams of engineers, developers, designers, and quality assurance people. This section will detail some aspects of those teams.

Quality Management

All hardware is rigorously tested in hot and cold temperatures before being used, as well as with our software. The software itself is written by the finest programmers using the best debugging tools, and debugged by other teams of programmers.

Communication Management

The communication aspect of the project works fairly well, there is a simple bureaucracy with tight control over project scope. Details of the project are thorough as possible. The only major change to the project was the switch from a 32bit to 64bit architecture.

Customer Expectation Management

Well we are the customers and we are also the organizers of the project. However the ones that manage us are technically organizing this. Most expectations were met during the project, however there were some snags. The main problems that arose were from pesky conspiracy theorists that somehow managed to figure out our plans and create radio shows, videos, and web pages dedicated to telling others about us. Luckily for us, most of them also published their even crazier theories along side so that helped deter the average person from their claims.

Asset Management

At the end of this project the assets will go to a program, which will create a large cover-up, the largest of this is paying off individuals involved so they will not speak.

Lessons Learned

The processes that worked well were the ones that did not involve the average person directly. However when we implemented things such as the National ID card and the microchip, we kept hitting snags and running into public relations problems. Essentially we should have spent much more time convincing the public of the National ID cards and the microchips to avoid so many problems.

Post Project Tasks

One of the major outstanding issues is completing the population for being microchipped. While a majority of the North American population has retrieved microchips, many have not. Not only that but our plans to expand on to the global landscape are being thwarted by conspiracy theorists outside North America who are notifying others of our plans.

Maintenance

The basic maintenance system will be that of replacing broken hardware. The software is designed to automatically detect failures and use other hardware when necessary, therefore the people managing the system do not need to know what it does when something fails, only replace the broken part. We have created a face company called American Telegraph and Telephone (also known as AT&T) to run our maintenance. Over time there will need to be updates to the system, and AT&T will be responsible for this. As for people being microchipped in the future, we will start to use things such as blood donations and vaccinations to do this.

Project Closure Recommendations

This project is so large that it can truly never be closed, but as a formality we have a plan that when the majority of the project is complete and the other is on the way to complete then it will be considered accomplished - as it is never ending.